In my quest to find inner peace and religious teachings to better myself I love reading quotes from Buddha. This one is kind of hard for me in one aspect.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
I rarely get angry and I would never really say I'm an angry person. The exception is my ex, I call him Valdemort,"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named". Why is it that I still get angry thinking about him? It was two years ago this month that I ended the relationship. I won't go into the details, but I still get burned picking up that hot coal! And if I did manage to hit him, the coal wouldn't phase him.
Forgivness is something that I'm having a struggle learning. How does one forgive and not come aross as weak. If you forgive but don't forget so that the same thing doesn't happen again, how do you not let that become anger and let it burn your hand?
Advice, opionions, suggestions or things that have help you are welcome.
3 comments:
Anger... what is it about it and ex's? I think it is because we trust such a huge part of our heart to one person.
I don't buy the forgive and forget thing though. I don't think we in reality "forget". But if we step away from the coal, it gets easier to not feel the heat and get burned by the anger. I think the memory of somethings that can make us feel angry, hurt, sad etc. is the best teacher.
I believe we can forgive, but it's memory it the lesson that lingers. Our triumph is that we can go on and be happy...even with the scar!
Perhaps one needs more time to 'heal' a wound. There may come a time when you realize you can think about the ex and not feel anger. Will it be another week, month, year? Who knows. But I believe it comes to all except the very cynical and bitter. When it does arrive one will realize the ordeal makes one smarter and stronger in the journey here. After all its all part of the journey. Recognize the anger and embrace the lessons learned. Time cannot change the past.
in Angels of America, Belize says that forgiveness is the hardest thing, it doesn't count as forgiveness if it is easy. It is where truth and justice meet,
I know we have to get to forgiveness - not for others but for ourselves. We can't heal and go on until it is really done.
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