You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.... And of course Rudolph.
One of them is gay and has just been outed!!
Who is the gay reindeer and why? It may not be so obvious.
Leave me a comment with who you think it is, and be creative!
The one I think is best could get a present; one that might be for the naughty boys out there (or naughty girls too!)
3 comments:
Trick question...they're all gay. The one that's "sleeping" has been trying to remain closeted, but he pretended to drink a lot and then conveniently "pass out" among the other harness and collar wearing, pantless, flaming gaydeer, hoping he just might get lucky and be abused in his sleep...notice the right eye is slighty cracked open...waiting...waiting...oh, and for the GAYEST one? That's obvious...then one with mistletoe over his deer di** and lips puckered...
Blitzen grew up in a small, snowy village near the North Pole, knowing the whole while there was something about him that wasn't quite the same as all his buddies. He played with the other reindeer, but wasn't really interested in sports as much as being close to his friends, rubbing up against them, and ending up in a clinch with one or two of them from time to time.
He was aware the others didn't want to touch him in the same way, so he was careful about how he did it. He learned to be both charming and sly, getting what he wanted while still fitting in with the group. No matter what he did, he always did it better than anyone else as a way to hide that he was different. He just wanted to fit in.
As he reached physical maturity, Blitzen came to realize just why he felt different. With some deep reflection he saw that he felt sexual attraction to the other bucks, but felt nothing for the does. He couldn't keep his eyes off his buddies' muscular hind quarters. Their smooth fur, their sensuous tails, their shapely hoofs. He couldn't resist his urges. He was gay, but what could he do about it?
Then along came some new buck. A little pipsqueak of a reindeer. He couldn't fly, he couldn't skate, and worst of all his nose glowed! He was an embarrassment and needed to be dealt with. Blitzen gathered all his buddies around him and told them what they had to do, and they proceeded to torment Rudolph to no end.
Very soon thereafter he and his friends were old enough to try out for Santa's Sleigh team, as all young bucks have done in years past. Blitzen put all his effort into making the team. He could run faster, fly higher, and pull more weight than any of the other reindeer. Just as he was ready to take his position at the front of the team, that new guy showed up and impressed Santa more. Broken-spirited, Blitzen took up a position at the rear of the team, closest to the sleigh.
Blitzen led an empty life after that day. When Christmas was over he married the first doe who came along and got her pregnant right away. Soon he had a little reindeer running around. None of this brought him any happiness. He remained a sad, lonely buck. He hated himself for being gay, and hated Rudolph for taking from him what he deserved most: to guide Santa's Sleigh on a foggy Christmas Eve.
Blitzen's life was a tangle of regrets and unfulfilled dreams. His doe left him, his kids disrespected him. He withdrew into himself, a miserable, defeated buck.
One day while Blitzen was drowning his sorrows down at the watering hole, he came upon Rudolph with his shiny nose glowing o so bright in the forest mist. Rudolph had grown up to be a solid, much-loved member of the community, and that drove Blitzen further into despair. As he moved along side Rudolph, his emotions swelled and got the better of him. He started talking to him and within moments felt a compulsion to come clean. Soon it all came spilling out, how he got the other reindeer to laugh and call him names, how he wouldn't let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
Then Blitzen did what he thought he could never do: he told Rudolph he was gay. He didn't mean to say it. It just happened. Blitzen was as surprised at Rudolph at the revelation. Rudolph smiled warmly, pushed up against Blitzen, and said that he knew he was gay, and has always known. He said he was happy for Blitzen that he finally came out. Now he can be the reindeer he was meant to be. Now he can enjoy some happiness in life.
From that day onward, Blitzen walked through the village with his head held high. All the other reindeer supported him and loved him, and Santa specially came to the village to wish him well. Blitzen at last found happiness.
Not only are they gay - the are LESBIANS !
Both sexes of reindeer sport antlers, but at different times of the year. The males have them in spring and summer; the females in fall and winter.
So.... the winter/Christmas reindeer sporting antlers must be female. And with those butch names, go figure, they are dykes!
It makes sense; whom would you trust to handle transportation like this?
Post a Comment