You gay men don't know how to behave! Only with the gay boys did strangers try to lift it up to get the most obvious question answered immediately. Boys, you must be proper!
If executed correctly it could be way more fun than just trying to get a quick peek.
So, without further ado; here is the way to perform a proper kilt-check.
1) Always always always get the man's permission!
And remember "no" means NO! If he's not interested, let it go.
2) Check the immediate area to make sure no impressionable children (or cubs) are watching or close by.
3) Stand behind the gentleman and place your hand on the outer side of his knee.
4) Slide your hand up the outer thigh,
feeling first for the boxers. Use your free hand to make sure his kilt doesn't "ride up" while you do this giving everyone nearby a free show.
5) If you find no boxer material move your hand up a little higher feeling for the boxer-brief.
6) If you find no boxer-brief, move your hand up to the hip to feel for the tighty-whities or the briefest of briefs. Again, remember to not go to fast or the gentleman will stop the check because he feels too exposed or feels too much of a breeze.
7) You may then proceed, if the gentleman allows, to move your hand to the back to feel for a jockstrap or thong.
8) If the man is indeed regimental (meaning you felt no undergarment material) then declare him to be so and you may then let your hand slide down (across the buttock if you desire) to remove your hand from "down under".
Here are the "no-nos"
Do not:
Lift or "flip up" the gentleman's kilt.
Lay down in the road to look up his kilt.
Use your hands to go under his kilt and grab the family jewels."We are checking to see if he's regimental, not checking to see if he's male!"
Don't ever give a kilt-check without the gentleman's express permission.
There you go and now you know.
It's still your guess if I was regimental or not... you decide!
*evil grin*
12 comments:
My partner is Scotish and he wore a kilt last week to a formal dinner - he did get a lot of stares but most people were gentle. However, you are quite correct - when he wore it to a gay bar-the manners were absent and quite rude!
I have only worn mine to Souther Decadence...so you can imagine... Jeff wont let me wear it out in Richmond...yet...hehehe...but you nailed it!
I definitely learned a few things this weekend. The hands-on kilt-check lesson was indeed very enlightening. Especially considering how many people checked first to see if I had family jewels attached.
I think kilts are hot, regimental or not.
Hehehe. Thanks for the lesson. I now know the proper way should the occasion (ahem) arise. To date I've not had the opportunity to perform a kilt check.
I prefer to find out the way you suggested. And it's always better to be invited than to barge in under any circumstances.
A very comprehensive "how-to" guide: good to know!
Fun, enlightening, interesting. Too bad, no kilts at the beach.
What does it mean that reading this got me hard and made my nips perk up?
regimental; I would be disappointed if you were not!
confidential to cubby: AWRIGHTY THEN!
Regimental. Definitely regimental. And I bet you stood at attention for than a few times during inspection didn't you?
and if you lift a man's kilt and find a quarter pounder, you know he's a McDonald.
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