I'm reading a book called Intimate Connections by David Burns. I think I mentioned this before, but the whole first chapter is learning to love yourself first. It is a fact of life that you need to love and respect yourself. Then friends, a soulmate, spouse or partner only enhance your life. We should never depend on someone else for love or we will constantly be looking for someone to make us happy. We will only feel disappointment.
Why am I just learning this as I near fifty? I wish I would have learned this lesson when I was much younger. But I think I have improved quite a bit from last year and even within the last couple of months!
There have been times in my life when I felt as if I was very determined and desperate to find someone to be with. I often ignore redflags and gut instincts just to be with someone. I also was so focused on labeling the relationship that I forgot to just enjoy the moment. These are difficult lessons for me to learn.
As long as I am happy with myself that will radiate out to others and when I just breathe, relax and enjoy each moment I can find peace, happiness and love.
4 comments:
Thanks for the post.. brought a smile and your final sentence hits the nail on the head! There is a difference I tell people in "being alone and being lonely."
;-)
we would not have appreciated the lesson when we were young and foolish.
(ask me how I know)
PS - word is "jobies"; you know, that thing we all go to every weekday...
Don't waste your time worrying about “getting it now”. Be glad you did get it, many do not. Use your newfound knowledge and go forth in finding your Self.
Don't beat yourself up about not learning something earlier. make the best of it all now, it's really all we have.
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