"Why?" was my response! "Well.... I don't want other people to know... um, you know... these common friends... I don't want to mention the "A" word around coworkers... you know..!"
It suddenly dawned on me. She was in the closet about being an atheist! Or at least she didn't want other coworkers to know that she knew some... (ssshhhh...) atheists! Oh my god! (Or should I say: Oh my Goodness! OOPS!)lol
This got me thinking.
Why would someone be afraid of being called an atheist? Or being called gay? Or a swinger? Or... whatever it is? Why do we feel we have to hide?I'm a very open person. Maybe it's because I write this blog and
Sure, I know discretion is important. I don't tell everyone I meet that I'm gay, only people on a "need to know" basis. I don't share that I get depressed a lot with the person I just met at the bar or that depression runs in my family. I don't secretly go get tattoos and then worry that someone may see them. I really am a very open person. I think it's better to live life with no extra burdens, life can be difficult as it is... why add extra pressure on yourself to keep a big, deep, dark secret!
Maybe that's why the PostSecret blog is so popular; it's finally a way for people to let their secret out. I had a boyfriend once that had this big secret and when he finally told me I was, like... "Really? That wasn't so bad... let me tell you about the time I did this..." (Well, maybe that's over-sharing a little bit).lol
So I was thinking... why not just come out of your closet? Share something with us here that you want to get off your chest. Leave a comment... not that many people in the world read my blog. Or leave an anonymous comment. Come out of the _________ closet. Just say it: "I am a closet _________."
I was thinking, I really don't have anything that bad to tell. OK, I grew up listening to The Carpenters and still listen to them sometimes. I have a weakness for sherberts and gelato. I have a huge sweet tooth and love licorice and gummi worms.
Oh here's something: I guess I'm a closet blogger. I don't share my blog on Facebook. Well, I have maybe once or twice. But it's not something I tell everyone I know.
Clean out your closet. Come on out. Make some more room in there for stuff.
6 comments:
In general, being in the closet is a sign of shame and 'what will THEY think of me?. Both from cultural values. Phooey.
Many (most) people are unwilling to lose their social circle, support, or connection to reveal truths about themselves. They prefer to pretend to be someone everyone agrees with and likes as opposed to losing people because of who they are. They want to fit in and they don't have the strength to stand up to societal pressure.Coming out has become a catch phrase for revealing who we are and things about others they don't know.
I can tell you I have gotten way more grief coming out as a Atheist than I ever did as a gay man.
It's funny you bring this up now but I have been struggling with discussing something on my own blog which, although may not shock anyone, is an affirmation of something I have long suspected that has been proven true recently. It's not so much a fear of revealing it as that I am still assessing it, what it means and how it will or won't impact my life. Plus, I always have my husband's privacy to consider when revealing things about our life, so there's that.
In the end, I think honesty and openness are the best thing for all of us, because even by revealing we're "different", we can find similarities in all having our own secrets, fears, shames and desires.We are still trying to hard to find a "right way" to be and make everyone adhere to it, including ourselves. Even by your statement "I really don't have anything that bad to tell" perpetuates the idea that, if you had a secret to share, it would be bad or negative. It's ingrained, but we can fight it.
Keep being open about who you are, and let people know they can, too. That's how we change the world around us.
Did you forget you live in Texas?
I'm a closet shamanic practitioner. I do shamanic healing, depossession (like exorcisms, only with more compassion!), ferry lost souls to the land of the dead, unravel curses. No kidding; I really do this. And I live right on the BUCKLE of the bible belt in Ala-frickin'-bama.
Last year I came clean (HA!) on my blog about being a hoarder. Actually, I only just realized it last year. All this stuff stacked all over my house for all these years, and I hadn't considered that I might be a hoarder. There are none so blind as they who will not see. And all I want to say about it is "I'm not as bad as those people on the reality TV shows." Because something like this, we are told, is a thing we should be ashamed of.
I get tattoos and then worry that someone may see them. ;-)
I'm sure I'm in the closet about stuff, I just have no idea what it is at this present moment.
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